My day started badly, but it got better and better. I wake up at about 6:30 PM as usual, on the good old bed, in a small little house. My legs are weak, my arms are rigid and my head is dizzy like the world is shaking in front of my nearsighted, blurry eyes. After a prolonged sleep, instead of feeling better, my body is screaming and exhausted. "Feel like an aging man", I thought. Pushing myself to the bathroom, started to think about how negatively my life is going in the middle of the relaxing summer fill with little microscopic dangerous COVID-19 virus which ruins the entire enthusiasm of the sunny days. How unfortunate! Unable to do anything to foster and maximum the happiness in my life, I can't get rid of the thought that my life is going nowhere, it is meaningless, I can't do anything to sustain the growth of the Earth and I can't even contribute to my well being. Despite endeavoring to learn and prepare for the glorious high school exam, I'm feeling like getting more and more stupid day by day and the fear of unable to get into high school is becoming larger and larger. I'm always disappointed in myself for procrastinate nonstop day after day, instead of doing something productive. Those thoughts follow, haunted my soul all day until I came to a conclusion: I am desperate because of myself, because my bad habits I have formed through my irresponsible action, there is no good in complaining about them all day, all night. That is my fault, my mistake, there is no need in torturing myself with those negative thoughts. Those things won't make you a great person or fix my bad habits, they just worsen the situation. Being a human is hard, but it doesn't have to be that hard. The more actively you look, the more meaningful your life will become. Human life only happens once, why so desperate?